Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Thoughts on Thursdays: Long Lost Internal Voice

Just a brief moment to blog before heading into work this morning.

As many of you know, I have a very long commute to and from work each day. While it's a great time to listen to books on tape, NPR or my iTunes, I find I usually prefer to just drive in silence. It's a great time to do a lot of thinking.

This morning, I had an amazing discovery. As I was driving along, doing my usual recap-of-yesterday-what-do-I-still-need-to-do-today planning, I suddenly realized that my internal voice was telling me happy things!

Now mind you, this internal voice of mine has been perfectly awful to me the past, oh, 20 years or so. Telling me things like "You're so stupid.", "Wow that was a dorky thing to say.", "You're looking tired and ugly as usual.", "You suck as a mother.", "You're so stupid." (That last one being my internal voice's favorite slam.)

But this morning, as my mind was wandering through the black, glossy pavement of 28 and 66 and FFCPkwy, I actually began to hear, "You had great ideas yesterday!", "You're doing awesome at work.", "People like you.", "You're kids are so sweet and loving you've done a great job with them.", "You're doing your best, and it's pretty darn good!"

Not once did the "stupid" comment pop up. Not once.

And so I listened, feeling good and reveling in my long lost Happy Voice of childhood and teenage-hood and my college years. I'd almost forgotten what that voice sounded like!

Well, my wonderful, beautiful, positive internal voice: Welcome Back! I hope you decide to stay for a long, long time!

1 comment:

twisterfish said...

Good for you!!!!! Your voice is very wise (at least NOW it is, not before with the "stupid" comment)!