Please Sir, Can I Have Some More?

Oh boy – I could go on for pages about what I’d like more of . . .

• Time
• Money
• Friends
• Babysitters
• Time
• Sleep
• Money
• Time
• Downton Abbey
• My mom’s really cool shoes
• Patience
• Time
• Free movie tickets
• Massages
• Did I mention time?

Okay, so that’s not really surprising. But a few months ago I was complaining on Facebook (I know, what’s new?) about how I hate not getting home each night until 7pm and still needing to clean up the kitchen and make dinner, while I’d really rather spend a few minutes of down time with my kids, or at least help them with their homework, and have five minutes to change out of my work clothes. (That’s the time issue.)

A friend of mine from high school who lives in France and has FIVE BOYS, that’s right FIVE (I am immensely jealous of her on both those points) had a wonderful suggestion. She mentioned that there was a time when her husband was away for an extended period of time (for work I think) and that she really struggled, herself, with that transition period when she’d first get home. She ended up finding someone who, for a bit of extra money, would be willing to be there when she got home and act as an extra pair of hands. It was a great idea!

The only stickler for me is that I don’t really like having more people around right at that transition time because it’s the time when I probably have the least amount of patience, and it would stress me out because, knowing me, I’d feel more like I needed to entertain whoever was helping me rather than let her actually help me. Plus, I didn’t really want someone to take away my responsibilities of being with the kids (that was the part that I actually wanted MORE of). But I did need/want help with the food prep and kitchen straightening.

So, I vowed that I would give myself a month to streamline my finances and put aside a little extra so that I could ask for that help. I also wanted to really think through my strategy; who would I want to ask? what would I want to ask for help with?

Two weeks ago I was ready to go forward with the plan. I decided that I wanted to offer the “job” to a teen who might be willing to earn a bit of extra cash on the side, because I know I would have LOVED to make a bit of extra money this way when I was a teen. And I was hoping that asking the teen of a mom who I already knew made great food would cause the least burden on that family; that making an extra couple of servings of dinner they were already making for their own family wouldn’t be too strenuous. But who would I trust to come into my home while I was away? I really didn’t have to think about that one very long.

A friend of mine, who I met through my Mother’s Group, had just started a food blog (Food with Pictures) and so the food thing I KNEW would be delicious, AND she had a teenage daughter who I knew was absolutely trustworthy and a sweetheart to boot. If I were going to give my money to anyone, this was the family!

So I reached out to my friend . . . and she accepted! HOORAY!!!

This was our first week of trying out the arrangement, and so far it’s been an absolute success! Tuesday, I came home to Creamed Chicken, fresh steamed broccoli and carrots, Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits, and the most gorgeous strawberries and pineapples for dessert! DELICIOUS!

My kids were so excited to try something new and gobbled it all up. Plus, the bonus was there was enough for Wednesday night, too! And, never let me forget the fact that the dishwasher had been emptied, dishes that had piled up in my sink were put in the dishwasher, the dishwasher was run, the sink and countertops were all clean, and the table was set!

Last night we were treated to Chicken with Pasta, a soft and crusty loaf of bread, and scrumdiliumptious Sugar Cookies. Once again the dishwasher had been emptied out and all the dishes put away where they belonged! I didn’t even have to explain to her where things went – not sure how she figured that all out, but she did.

I cannot tell you what a relief it is not to have to worry about “What’s for Dinner” during the week anymore. In fact, I really like the fact that it’s kind of a surprise. (I do LOVE surprises). I watch my friend’s blog thinking to myself, “Oooh! I hope we get THAT this week!” or “Oh my goodness! I hope they made that for us!” I have something to look forward to on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and I now have more time (and less stress) at the end of the day to spend with my kids.

To the friend who originally made the suggestion, and to the Mom and Daughter who are doing the cooking and cleaning – A THOUSAND THANK YOUS!

You have given me the precious, immeasurable gift of a little more time in my life.

Chicken and Pasta!

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When it Sucks to be a Single Mom

(I'm going to throw a teensy pity party. But I'll try to keep it short :)

Okay, let's be honest. MOST of the time it sucks. But I always tell people it's all about perspective. And if you want to be happy, then do your darnedest with what you've got, change what you can, get over the rest.

Yes, it's hard being a single mom to three kids with no family in the area. But if I had only one and did have family in the area, I'm sure I'd still feel overwhelmed . . . and underwhelmed, and lonely and hemmed in, and excited and warn out, and full of joy, and all the same emotions I feel now.

But there is one time in particular that I HATE being a single mom of three kids. When I'm sick. That's the time I feel it the most. Because that's the time when I LITERALLY am on my own and still have to hold it together to parent.

Just found out I have to have a procedure on Wednesday morning that requires . . . you guessed it . . . help. I'll be sedated. I am not allowed to drive. But my kids need to get to school, and at some point the hospital will kick me out and make me go home. Awesome.

It was too short notice to ask my parents to come up. Barry (who has already nursed me through two similar illnesses) is an ocean away. And it's a complicated matter to ask friends for something like this, especially when I feel I've used up all my chips as it is.

But just as I was figuring out how to drop the kids off at school, cab it to the hospital, cab home, cab back to hospital/school once sedatives wear off, pick up car/kids, feed, bathe, homework, put to bed said kids, all after having been on a "clear liquid" diet for two straight days and likely no energy or patience remaining, a miracle happened. A friend of mine from church (who I will name later if she'll let me) agreed to do all the driving for me! Hooray!

So thank you thank you thank you to all those who have helped me in my times of need (and there have been many). It is not easy to ask for or receive help. It's not easy to let your privacy go in the process of asking for or receiving help. But it humbles me every day, and I find myself actually being thankful for the lessons I've learned and the strength I've been given BECAUSE of being a single mom.

Being a single mom sucks sometimes. There's no getting around it. But I thank God for the remarkable people He has put in my life who hold my hand, pat my back, and lift me up along the way.

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