They are a handful of very thin, tin, slightly rusty, Christmassy shaped cookie cutters that were always in the top drawer of the kitchen in EVERY house we lived in. And that's saying a lot, because we lived in a LOT of houses growing up (10, to be exact, thank you to the US Air Force). And so while I never remember actually using these to make Christmas cookies, I do remember them being in the drawer. I remember the clinking sound they made when I'd fish through the drawer looking for the egg separating thingy, or some toothpicks, or that one special spoon I needed to play tea with my dolls. And remembering them being there became more of a tradition to me than actually using them for their intended purpose.
Three years ago, when my mom handed down the "family cookie cutters" to me in a little red box with a ribbon tied around it, I nearly cried. The cookie cutters! She could have given them to anyone in the family, but she gave them to me, and that gesture meant the world. I wanted to do these cookie cutters justice, so making Christmas sugar cookies seemed like a no-brainer.
Um . . . wait a second . . . anyone out there know my kids? Anything involving sugar and flour and fingers and the possibility of imperfection . . . not going to have a good ending in my house. The first year I tried these cookie cutters out Renton was 4, Emily was 2 and I was 8 months pregnant with Micky. I probably don't even need to explain the myriad of mishaps in that adventure. As a matter of fact, I don't really even remember it - except I have pictures that still make me laugh. I think the mixer was on the floor, the cookie sheets on the table, and the flour on everything.
Two years ago, I thought I'd try again. It was our first Christmas entirely on our own. It was a great time to reinforce family traditions, right? In fact, maybe that was the driving force behind my wanting to make these damnable sugar cookies to begin with. I want my kids to have TRADITIONS. I've been afraid that in a "broken home" they won't remember the traditions or I won't have time to build traditions. And so I pull out the cookie cutters, I make the dough, chill it (often for too long) in the fridge, and then plop the dough down in front of the kids to get busy making these Sugar Demons.
I mean really. Last year was much like two years ago - except that Micky spent most of his time screaming and flailing on the floor in his new found 18 month old mania. Even more flour ended up on the kids and the kitchen, and the cookies were misshapen and broken, but tasted good.
12 months later and I must be suffering from holiday amnesia because I was eagerly looking forward to using these cookie cutters again. Tradition, right? This year, Renton was sent to his room three times after acting out because he couldn't shape his cookies perfectly. (Did I mention that these cookie cutters really pretty much suck? They're too narrow or too thin to cut well and most of the cookies fall apart on their trek from the cutter to the cookie sheet. This is not a good thing for an OCD child.) Micky just kept molding and re-molding his blob of dough (not gonna eat anything that came out of that dough) then smashing down Emily and Renton's cookies to make them "better". Emily was actually a little angel and made her cookies very nicely, dusted them with sugar and happily watched them baking in the oven . . . then burst into tears because I only let her eat two and not three before going to bed.
So what's driving me to use these cookie cutters? What's driving me to keep making these sugar cookies that I hate and make my kids insane? Tradition? I don't even remember making sugar cookies growing up. But we have these cookie cutters, so we must have - right? Not really. I'm realizing now that it's entirely possible that we had these cutters because one year my Mom thought it was a good idea to make sugar cookies for Christmas, then realized that with four children, it was just an impossibility. They became a tradition to me simply by being in the top drawer of every house I lived in growing up. So what is the tradition that my kids will take with them? Who even knows - it's usually not what you think it will be. There is no such thing as a cookie cutter tradition.
2 comments:
It's nice to know other families' cookie baking can be a "flour on everything" kind of affair too!
These traditions DO matter, maybe even more so for all their imperfections. Besides, I firmly believe your kids are too young to remember much of this time anyway. They'll probably remember how when they were in the early teens, Mom pulled out the crappy cookie cutters and they all made cookies and told stories about the time when Emily threw a fit about only getting two cookies. :-)
Making Christmas sugar cookies is a big tradition in our family as well, and there have been times I swore I was done with it. But I gotta tell you, it got much better -- much more fun -- after I tossed those old cutters from my mom (same ones in your photo!) and bought new ones that make the cookies come out easier.
You are a great mom to keep up these traditions with your children. The main thing they'll remember from all of it is the love that went into it.
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